Today I left the hospital to go home ... I felt so empty walking out through those doors knowing that little N&J will be there for a long time to come. It is just so wrong...they should be in my belly snug like bugs and instead they now have a fight ahead of them. I pray that they stay feisty and keep growing stronger every day.
I feel so lost in how all this could happen so quickly...like control of my body just slipped away like sand between my fingers. With all my heart, I wish that I could go back to Friday morning and wake up without any worries - but since I cannot, I will instead focus on what I can do to hopefully help make a difference...and I can pump milk.
I pray that my body will allow me do this to help nourish the boys and let them grow strong. I have been pumping consistently about every 3 hours since the evening they were born. My output has been a bit slow going as my body was not quite ready to make milk yet. I was told to expect it to take about 50 -72 hours post delivery for my milk to come in. Thankfully I have gotten a fair amount of colostrum for the babies and hopefully consistency will pay off and my milk supply will be well established soon. I left enough colostrum/pre-milk at the hospital to keep the boys feed through Wednesday. By then I hope to have lots more frozen milk to bring up for them to eat.
Before I left today, I talked to the lactation consultant about good dietary "rules" to go by specifically when pumping for preemies. She gave me some suggestions and ideas of things to look at and research. I hope to make some good fattening and nutritious milk to help the babies grow big and strong.
Off to bed now for a few hours of sleep before the next round of pumping...just called the hospital and N&J are having a good night..thank goodness!
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