Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Tough learning...

One of my assignments from the first term included finding a current journal article about the pathophysiology, and complete a small write-up.  Free choice anything we wanted - I choose necrotizing enterecolitis or NEC.

I choose to research NEC because I now feel much better equipped to understand the medical research related to this terrible disease.  The etiology of the disease is not completely clear but there are known risk factors and one big one is being born premature.  The babies were just born too early and I still makes me sad that I did not carry them longer.  One thing that has been shown to offer some protection is breast milk and it makes me happy to remember that I was able to provide milk to both the little sweethearts starting right away.

Researching and writing about this was hard but I still feel like I need some clarity.  Loosing J was so difficult and thinking about it will always make me cry.  My heart is forever broken and there is still so many emotions evoked in my heart when I think of N&J ... still so much that I do not understand or will ever know.

Angel baby I love you .... and N where ever you are, I hope with all of my heart that you are a happy little boy.


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