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Saturday, March 29, 2014

Easter Egg Stash Dash...

Woohoo we got a run planned yeah!  Mostly I will likely walk the "run" but it will be fun and I am looking forward to doing it.  Sebastian is signed up for a 1K Easter egg hunt run and the rest of us are signed up to the do the 5K later in the day.  I will have Sebastian walk with me for the 5K as well but we figured he would get a kick of the actual egg hunt too.

Rio and Magnus are planning to do a mudrun later this year too - I was planning to do one but now that I am pregnant, those plans will be on hold for another year.

I am planning to stay very active during this pregnancy....will say that all the spring rain during break has not allowed for a lot of outdoor activity - but we went swimming yesterday and plan to go climbing today!  I really hope to feel good all throughout especially as I will be doing my last clinical rotation for nursing school this summer.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

One lucky surromama...

Just recently I received adorable photos of little Miss V and her brother....ohh my they are so stinking adorable. 

It is just so much fun to see them grow and develop...

Hugs and Kisses to M&M!!!

Entering second trimester...

Today I am 14 weeks pregnant and I have entered into the second trimester.  I am starting to feel the baby move every once in a while and I am looking forward the feeling of more consistent movement.  For the most part I feel really good physically with the occasional aches and discomfort.   This morning I have had a lot of aching on my right side right where my hip bone is.  I think it is just ligament stretching but yikes it should feel free to stay away!

I feel so happy and elated about this pregnancy but also very emotionally charged.  The smallest things can make me weepy.  Looking at baby items makes my heart beam with feelings of joy of being so lucky to actually get to enjoy this stage of parenthood once more.  I felt certain that I was done with that aspect of life but finding myself pregnant I am realizing just how much I will love having a baby in our lives again.   At times these moments also make me feel very very vulnerable and sadly longing for what has been lost. Yesterday as I walked through a store I saw the cutest little blue baby blankets and instantly my thoughts lingered with L&J and their sweet baby boys.  While time heals some sorrows lingers on even as time passes.

Pregnancy is miraculous and wonderful....and then at the same time terrifying.  I feel worry creep in due to the outcome of my last pregnancy but I also know that placental abruption can happen to anyone and there is no predicting the occurrence.  It was a fluke and the likelihood of it happening again for me is the same as for any other woman.  The incidence is slightly higher due to IVF treatments and carrying twins but neither is the case for this pregnancy. 

I pray for a long and healthy nine months and for a sweet baby to join our family in due time.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Feeling so blessed by friendship..

In the course of surrogacy I have met some incredible people and I feel blessed in so many ways.  When I first realized that I was pregnant, one of things weighing heavily on heart was that a pregnancy for me should mean a baby for A&S.  While we had stopped pursuing surrogacy a while back due to various reasons, I think we all hoped that it would happen at some point. 

Early on in my pregnancy, I emailed A to let her know that I was expecting.  I felt uneasy sharing the news but I knew it was something that I just had to do.  Even if we only had a shared dream of achieving a pregnancy for her and S at this point ~ those dreams have occupied so many of my thoughts and hopes over the last several years.  The email I received in return (and many since then...) just warms my heart.   She has truly been such a wonderful and cheerful support and her joy for us is so genuine.  I cannot even explain how fortunate I feel to have her as a friend.

We both feel strongly that people come into our lives for a reason or a season .. I know that mine and A's path crossed to share the miracle of life in some way.  It has not been how either of us expected it .. but it is sweet all the same. 

Today I am just very thankful for good friends to share my joy.

Monday, March 17, 2014

First trimester screening is back...

My nuchal transluncency scanning was last Thursday and thankfully the diameter of the of the fluid in the neckfold was within normal parameters.  Baby was so cute bouncy all around.  In addition to the ultrasound, I had a blood work drawn to complete the first trimester screening.  Results came back today and further decreased my risk of both Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 21.  I was so happy to receive that call as when you look at the statistics for a 39/40 year old women they are NOT pretty.

Since the screening is back with good results, we are not planning further diagnostic testing at this time.  We will revisit the need to do so when we complete the screening for spina bifida and the anatomy ultrasound later in the second trimester.

I love getting good news...here is a belly photo from a couple of weeks ago ~ I cannot believe how quickly I just popped out this time. 






Sunday, March 16, 2014

I have such a sweet surprise to share...

Announcing sweet news to the big siblings...

Olivia:  ewww.... babies stink and "I thought you were getting fatter!"

Sebastian:  woohoo ... I want a baby brother

Magnus:  whaaaatttt???








... A sweet little surprise ...

I realized in early January that I was pregnant.  A surprising turn of events ...  I took me a bit to catch my breath and let the news settled in, but now I must say that I am just tickled and feeling incredibly blessed.

Baby looked wonderful on the 12 week ultrasound ... my heart is truly overflowing.



Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Spring...

I love spring time ... all the trees are budding, daffodils and crocuses are in bloom and the smell of spring is hanging in the air.  It is like little sweet secrets growing and hidden away below the surface and the once the sunny days come back they all pop right out!

I went for a long walk after clinicals today along the waterfront in Portland.  The weather was beautiful and people were milling around everywhere.  It felt so good to feel the sunshine on my face and taking in all the sounds and scents of spring.

Yeah my spring break is almost here!!!!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Finals are almost here again...

Last paper of the term finished and submitted ...yeah!!! 

... I have been slacking and not blogging for a such long time.  School has been busy.  Really really busy.  I love being in nursing school!  It is intellectually challenging and stretches my learning wonderfully in so many directions.  But the biggest challenge of all is being gone so much from home.  I miss the kids tremendously and cannot wait for Spring break to roll around.  The toll of being gone so much over the last 10 months is compiling and every Sunday night when I have to leave yet again to go back to Portland my heart aches.

But here we are with the last week of term three upon me and I can look forward to almost two weeks of spring break.  It is gonna be great!  I can also look back over an intense 10 weeks of acute care experiences.  I had 5 weeks on the labor/delivery, mother/baby, and NICU units and 5 weeks on the adult cardiac unit.  It has been intense and I have loved every minute of being in clinical.  I am just so happy that I made the choice to pursue nursing.

Last week also brought my first ATI testing which is preparation for the NCLEX or the national nursing licensure testing that I will need to complete once I finish school.  It went fairly well .. we did not have to study in advance for this test so that it can provide me with a good baseline measure of what I currently know and where I should focus my efforts as I continue my studies.  It was a long test though - 150 questions ... still it is another step in the direction of becoming a nurse.

In addition to school, I sometimes feel that our life is constantly in flux and that I am caught in a game of wack-a-mole!  I will not blog much about it other than to say that we have had some very difficult times on the personal front and it has been emotionally tiring, difficult and unsettling.  It lead to a new move for our family and in January we relocated down to Eugene, Oregon for a new job for my husband.  We have rented a house there and hope to settle in and make this our home for the forseeable future.  Alas things seems to be settling down now for which I am immensely thankful...