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Sunday, August 31, 2014

September...

In less than one hour September rolls around.  The month where I will officially graduate from nursing school (..and hope to finish up my NCLEX exam too), the month where our sweet sweet baby girl will join our family, and the month where I will turn 40.

This will be a life transforming month for me.  A process that started a while ago when I decided to go back to school ... it is not a definitive journey but one that has changed my life in so many ways.

I know that September will hold many changes for me and for these I am incredibly grateful.  Change is hard but change is also good.  The biggest one of them all is having a little baby girl.  I cannot describe in words how elated, grateful and excited I am about her arrival.  Finding myself pregnant was a shock but it quickly turned to such a sweet release of pent up desires for another baby that I did not realize I had.  Being pregnant with baby girl has allowed much healing of my heart and brought a joy that feels ablaze at every waking moment.  She will be the perfects sweet addition to our family and I am so lucky to have amazingly caring and sweet big siblings to love her too.

Finishing nursing school is such an accomplishment for me.  It feels monumental and overwhelming.  There have been moments when everything was just too much.  When my emotions were just worn too thin and it seemed too difficult to just continue.  But I did it ... and I am proud of myself - proud to have finished an incredibly difficult and intense program and to have done it well.  These last many months have change me and challenged me to be a better person in so many ways.  The hardest thing during this process was being gone from home.  I missed my children everyday, it hurt my heart every time I had to leave them and I have cried for them more times than I can count.  To be back home with them is the best feeling ever and they make my heart whole in ways that no one else can.  I am so incredibly lucky to have them and I hope that my perseverance will some day serve as an inspiration to them too.

September I welcome you ... and I cannot wait to see all that you have in store for me.

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