Sunday, May 26, 2019

The day I became a mother...

I love birthdays ...I especially love cake that accompany the celebration ;-)   Today my oldest son turns 20 ... yet I am deprived of cake as he has plans today!

We had a wonderful birthday lunch and did some fun birthday shopping earlier.  I got lots of hugs ... but I could easily have more!  Happy birthday Magnus ~ you bring me so much love and joy and I am so happy to be your mom.   I so clearly remember that first morning after you were born.  Marveling over your little fingers and toes.  Soaking in the bliss of a holding a newborn in my arms and being unable to take my eyes away from you.

I know from my studies in psychology and nursing that pregnancy and birth is one of those special times in our lives that we are most open to change and growth.  That moment a woman becomes a mother  ~ a man becomes a father ~ a family is born ~ is life changing in so many ways.  Your whole being now becomes about more than it ever was before ... I knew instantly that I wanted more children when the time was right.  Now reflecting back I realize how much I took for granted and how fortunate I am to have my four gorgeous kiddos and to have carried three extra special little ones too.

So today I will celebrate the joy I feel in my heart for my sweet birthday boy.  While the cake will have to wait for tomorrow ... I will spend the day remembering that sweet moment of holding my first born for the very first time while I ponder how exactly that was 20 years ago.  It makes me happy and sad all at the same time ... excited to see what the future holds and maybe a little sad to know that my little boy is all grown up with many plans of his own.

Today is for sure one where all the feelings are hitting in my soft spot and where I am keeping my bergamot and peppermint eo roller close by for a little emotional support boost.  But tomorrow ... tomorrow there will be cake!!!

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