This semester will be busy for sure!!! I had an appointment with the nursing adviser today and it turns out that the math I am enrolled in will not count towards the "residency" points for my nursing application because it is a pass/fail class. The problem is that all other math classes offered this term conflict with my A&P class or the children's schedules. Well that is with the exception of Calculus.....and I am NOT retaking that one - once was enough!
So my options now are to take an extra class this term or add another class in the winter term (in addition to Genetics and A&P II) ...neither one is really a great option. So I figured that I am going to bite bullet and opt for a PE class this term. I really do not want 11 credits but the way I look at is that at least 7 of my credits should be relatively easy. The math class is primarily self-guided, show up and do your work kind of thing and for PE - well what can I say, at least I will get exercise 3 days a week ;-). The bonus to taking the PE class now, is that I will be completely done with all the general credit classes required for the nursing program. So if I get accepted to the local program, I only have the nursing curriculum to concentrate on.
So for the next few months ... my nose will be in the books!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Back to school today...
Classes start back up today and I am SO ready to get going. I am taking A&P and math ... here is to hoping that I will not be completely buried in homework by the end of the week. Nah who I am kidding .. of course I will be :-)
I had a great birthday weekend. Beautiful and sunny out all day Saturday ... an excellent day to try out my birthday present at the bird estuary. My honey got me a kayak. Love it! It will be a great way for me to work on my upper body strength ~ my only conundrum at the moment is learning to get it on the top of my car by myself!
Have a great week everyone!
I had a great birthday weekend. Beautiful and sunny out all day Saturday ... an excellent day to try out my birthday present at the bird estuary. My honey got me a kayak. Love it! It will be a great way for me to work on my upper body strength ~ my only conundrum at the moment is learning to get it on the top of my car by myself!
Have a great week everyone!
Friday, September 21, 2012
All about perspective...
In my last post I wrote about my hurt feelings. In the overall context of life ... my feelings are just that mine. Putting a little more thought into it, a better term may have been disappointment. I never expected daily, weekly, or even monthly contact ... but I did expect some level of contact. Just a little news ... a girl can dream ~ maybe one day it will happen :-)
All I am doing is giving a voice to something that has been weighing on my heart. In the grand scheme of things, I feel certain that N is well cared for and loved beyond measure. He is a blessed little boy and I treasured the time I carried him.
Treasure the journey ~ enjoy the moments - and live life without regrets.
All I am doing is giving a voice to something that has been weighing on my heart. In the grand scheme of things, I feel certain that N is well cared for and loved beyond measure. He is a blessed little boy and I treasured the time I carried him.
Treasure the journey ~ enjoy the moments - and live life without regrets.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Hurt feelings but I would still have done the same...
Fall is here and my birthday is near. The change in season is a reminders that two years ago, I was gearing up for a transfer with L&J to help them complete their family. The transfer went perfectly but life is not always perfect ... Still I believe
in miracles and that every life circumstance will teach us something.
It may not always be lessons that we want to learn but none the less we will
take something away from all situations.
Since the birth of my first child, my birthday wishes has always included happiness for my children and my sweet little surro babes. This year I wish that little sweetheart N is growing bigger, hopefully stronger and more joyful to his beautiful family day by day. Some days I think a lot about N&J - it is a funny feeling of holding someone so close at heart while still letting them go.
I often wish that I would hear some news and my feelings are hurt that I do not. Then I think maybe this is how it would have been even if all had been perfect, after all that is the chance you take with surrogacy. Sometimes I think back at our emails and conversations laced with intent of keeping in touch...and wonder how I could have been so mistaken in what was yet to come. Then I think that life and circumstances just got in the way. Loss is hard and my journey with the twins ended in ways none of us wanted. So many thoughts clouds my head when thinking about it....retracing steps of the last days of my pregnancy and then of the days to come after. So many unanswered questions ... too many to count ... maybe I should not have left for NY the night I did, maybe I should have kissed little J's sweet cheek before his surgery. Maybe I should have held little N closer that last time I saw him. Maybe a few more minutes of holding him tight before taking L and him to the airport would have been ok - but I did not want to make them late. Had I known then what I know now, maybe I would have held on just a little longer instead of the hasty snuggles in goodbye... but is that not how we always think, that there will always be a next time? Reality is that sometimes there is not a next time.
Truthfully ... had I known, that soon I would never hear news again, I would still have done the exact same things. I would still have spent hours pumping milk because even though it was time consuming and heart breaking, I wanted to do everything I could to make a difficult situation just a little bit better. I would still have driven those many times 4-5 hours round trip just to catch little glimpses of two sweet little ones, to bring up milk to them, and for a chance to catch up with L to see how she was holding up. I would still have spend hours and hours praying for all of them and I would still have given Little N my hasty snuggles to ensure their timely arrival at the airpot.
Life goes on and time heals .. or so so they say. I do feel much stronger and better than I did a year ago. If nothing else, time does provide perspective. But I have learned something that I wish no mother ever had to learn. Loosing a child ~ even one that was just mine to love for a brief time ~ is not something that you can ever be healed from, it is something that you have to learn to live with. It changes you profoundly and life is never again the same.
I have so many blessing in my life .. so much joy that I am grateful for. Still at times an iron fist remains locked around part of my heart and closes in so tight that I can barely breathe. My heart will always have ragged edges, and a piece will forever be missing ... but still it remains overflowing with lots of love for all the incredible, beautiful, talented, spirited and wonderful baby feet that I have been blessed to carry deep inside below my jagged heart.
Since the birth of my first child, my birthday wishes has always included happiness for my children and my sweet little surro babes. This year I wish that little sweetheart N is growing bigger, hopefully stronger and more joyful to his beautiful family day by day. Some days I think a lot about N&J - it is a funny feeling of holding someone so close at heart while still letting them go.
I often wish that I would hear some news and my feelings are hurt that I do not. Then I think maybe this is how it would have been even if all had been perfect, after all that is the chance you take with surrogacy. Sometimes I think back at our emails and conversations laced with intent of keeping in touch...and wonder how I could have been so mistaken in what was yet to come. Then I think that life and circumstances just got in the way. Loss is hard and my journey with the twins ended in ways none of us wanted. So many thoughts clouds my head when thinking about it....retracing steps of the last days of my pregnancy and then of the days to come after. So many unanswered questions ... too many to count ... maybe I should not have left for NY the night I did, maybe I should have kissed little J's sweet cheek before his surgery. Maybe I should have held little N closer that last time I saw him. Maybe a few more minutes of holding him tight before taking L and him to the airport would have been ok - but I did not want to make them late. Had I known then what I know now, maybe I would have held on just a little longer instead of the hasty snuggles in goodbye... but is that not how we always think, that there will always be a next time? Reality is that sometimes there is not a next time.
Truthfully ... had I known, that soon I would never hear news again, I would still have done the exact same things. I would still have spent hours pumping milk because even though it was time consuming and heart breaking, I wanted to do everything I could to make a difficult situation just a little bit better. I would still have driven those many times 4-5 hours round trip just to catch little glimpses of two sweet little ones, to bring up milk to them, and for a chance to catch up with L to see how she was holding up. I would still have spend hours and hours praying for all of them and I would still have given Little N my hasty snuggles to ensure their timely arrival at the airpot.
Life goes on and time heals .. or so so they say. I do feel much stronger and better than I did a year ago. If nothing else, time does provide perspective. But I have learned something that I wish no mother ever had to learn. Loosing a child ~ even one that was just mine to love for a brief time ~ is not something that you can ever be healed from, it is something that you have to learn to live with. It changes you profoundly and life is never again the same.
I have so many blessing in my life .. so much joy that I am grateful for. Still at times an iron fist remains locked around part of my heart and closes in so tight that I can barely breathe. My heart will always have ragged edges, and a piece will forever be missing ... but still it remains overflowing with lots of love for all the incredible, beautiful, talented, spirited and wonderful baby feet that I have been blessed to carry deep inside below my jagged heart.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Busy busy busy...
Homework x 4 kiddos, soccer and volleyball, 2 lovely doggies that wants to run and play, keeping up the house .... and as of next week adding my own school and homework to the schedule ... I have my work cut out!! But it is all good...busy is great and while my to do list never ends or even seem marginally shorter even on a productive day, I feel ever so fortunate for all the wonderful blessings in my life.
Our exchange student arrived on Sunday and just a few days in, she is doing fabulous. Her English is very good but I know it will still take her just a little bit to feel fully comfortable hearing herself speak another language all the time. She had her first day at school today. It was a bit overwhelming with all the new impressions, things to remember, and homework. So after a little while, I banned homework for the day as she needed to get some rest. She seems very sweet and I hope she will enjoy her stay in the US.
With all the kids of to school today, it was time for a bit of catch-up for me in order to get ready for school. I start on Monday so not much time left before I really need to kick in back in to study mode.
I also went to meet with the volunteer service coordinator at our local hospital today. I have been wanting to get some community volunteer service in and figured that the hospital will be a great place to do it at. So now I just need to wait for my criminal background check and drug screen to come back and then I can schedule orientation. My hope is that I can volunteer in some capacity that will give me a little bit of patient exposure.
It has been a long day today and I am ready to hit the pillows and conquer more of my long list of "fun stuff" to do tomorrow :-)
Our exchange student arrived on Sunday and just a few days in, she is doing fabulous. Her English is very good but I know it will still take her just a little bit to feel fully comfortable hearing herself speak another language all the time. She had her first day at school today. It was a bit overwhelming with all the new impressions, things to remember, and homework. So after a little while, I banned homework for the day as she needed to get some rest. She seems very sweet and I hope she will enjoy her stay in the US.
With all the kids of to school today, it was time for a bit of catch-up for me in order to get ready for school. I start on Monday so not much time left before I really need to kick in back in to study mode.
I also went to meet with the volunteer service coordinator at our local hospital today. I have been wanting to get some community volunteer service in and figured that the hospital will be a great place to do it at. So now I just need to wait for my criminal background check and drug screen to come back and then I can schedule orientation. My hope is that I can volunteer in some capacity that will give me a little bit of patient exposure.
It has been a long day today and I am ready to hit the pillows and conquer more of my long list of "fun stuff" to do tomorrow :-)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Adding the "Warrior" title to my name...
Rio and I have the Warrior Medals to prove it! We ran the Warrior Dash together last Sunday and it was so much fun having someone along for the run.
This is before the run .. check out the nice clean shirts and the horns!
After shot ... well we definitely have the mud requirement covered .. Rio did a complete face plant in the very last mud pile :-)
Don't we just look awesome?
This is before the run .. check out the nice clean shirts and the horns!
After shot ... well we definitely have the mud requirement covered .. Rio did a complete face plant in the very last mud pile :-)
Don't we just look awesome?
Back to the grind...
In more ways that one!
My fall term classes start soon. I am ready to get back in the thick of it. I will be taking Anatomy and Physiology (A&P) and basic algebra this semester. Yes I did say math!!! Ughh!!! I have both Finite Math and a Calculus class taken for my previous degree; however, the math requirement for the nursing program must be fulfilled within the previous 5 years ... so here I go!! Hopefully it should be an easy class although I know it will be a lot of busy work. Actually it might be a nice review and enable me to help the kiddos better as they are advancing in to more complicated math in school.
The downside to having to take math is that I will be on campus 5 days a week for this term. Yikes! That means out of the house every single day ... busy!!!
I also need to set a new fitness goal. I have been slacking a bit during the last month of summer but I have maintained my weight below 130 and I am happy about that. Today my scale reflected 124.2 .. woohoo - I do not even recall when I saw that number on a scale!
So here is my new goal. Back to running 3-4 days per week, strength training 3-4 days per week, and my abglider ... EVERYDAY!!! My goal for now will be to make it down to 122 lbs.... actually it would be great if I could make it to about 150lbs with a sweet babe in my belly but since that does not appear to be in the cards right this moment...I will strive for letting go of a few more pounds.
Wish me luck ...
My fall term classes start soon. I am ready to get back in the thick of it. I will be taking Anatomy and Physiology (A&P) and basic algebra this semester. Yes I did say math!!! Ughh!!! I have both Finite Math and a Calculus class taken for my previous degree; however, the math requirement for the nursing program must be fulfilled within the previous 5 years ... so here I go!! Hopefully it should be an easy class although I know it will be a lot of busy work. Actually it might be a nice review and enable me to help the kiddos better as they are advancing in to more complicated math in school.
The downside to having to take math is that I will be on campus 5 days a week for this term. Yikes! That means out of the house every single day ... busy!!!
I also need to set a new fitness goal. I have been slacking a bit during the last month of summer but I have maintained my weight below 130 and I am happy about that. Today my scale reflected 124.2 .. woohoo - I do not even recall when I saw that number on a scale!
So here is my new goal. Back to running 3-4 days per week, strength training 3-4 days per week, and my abglider ... EVERYDAY!!! My goal for now will be to make it down to 122 lbs.... actually it would be great if I could make it to about 150lbs with a sweet babe in my belly but since that does not appear to be in the cards right this moment...I will strive for letting go of a few more pounds.
Wish me luck ...
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