19 months out...

19 months ago I delivered sweet N&J.  I can honestly say that it was the most difficult day of my life.  I hated everything about that day and I still do ~ the wishing that I could change it will never go away ... but I have accepted what was...although it is still hard to have no idea how the N-man is doing.  I hope he is having a glorious day today and that he just continues to be a joy to his family.

Life goes on and right now I am filling my days with Christmas fun, planning and studying .. we are on break from school but I cannot leave the books alone.  I love learning all this new material as I prepare to enter nursing school next summer or fall and I am totally digging the opportunity to volunteer in our local Emergency Room... it is a fantastic opportunity to watch the nurses in action and pepper them with questions when time allows.  I am so excited about the possibilities that lies ahead.

Every day I love on my kids and every day I think of three beautiful babies ~ each in their own place ~ and thank God that I have been part of 6 miracles even if one little miracle grew wings too soon.

I have been working hard to get back in shape.  In the months after delivery, I felt in so little control of my body ... it failed me when I really needed it.  But I have slowly regained that control and can once again appreciate the incredible things the human body can do.  Honestly, I think studying anatomy has really helped in that regard too ... it is just so fascinating!

I am 19 months out from delivery of the twins.  Lots of running (...and yes a good part of that running was "running away" from all the pain, emotional trauma and disappointment I felt from the premature delivery), soccer coaching, weight training, and the a fall term of Health and PE ... and I am now in better shape than before I got pregnant with Magnus 14 years ago.  While I still want to "tweek" and tone several areas of my body, I am overall very happy with myself at this point.