Baby girl is growing...

I rounded 23 weeks yesterday and my belly is definitely rounding out

Feeling great and starting to get the urge to nest and get ready stuff ready for baby.  I pulled out my keepsake box for the big kids yesterday and took a look through baby outfits that I have saved with the intention of giving to them later.  I was able to pull out a nice little stack of baby girls stuff that can be used again .. so exciting!

Registered...

For my last term of nursing school!!!!!  Wahooo!!!  I am so excited about this last term and going into my integrated practicum in the NICU.  It has been so much hard work and being away from my kiddos so much has been so difficult....but I am almost home for good and I am totally excited about it.

I have two more weeks of this term and then a couple of weeks of break.  Looking forward to spending a lot of time at home relaxing and having fun with the kids and Rio.

Happy Hump Day....my last day for this week ~ ok well aside from the 2-3 papers that I still need to write but at least I can do that from home.

Just feeling very happy...

I am 22 weeks along today and I woke up with this feeling of unbridled joy about this sweet baby girl hiding deep below my heart.  She makes me so incredibly happy and I feel so blessed by this pregnancy.  I am completely taken amazed by the level of happiness and excitement I feel about being pregnant and bringing a new baby into our family.

While this was not a planned pregnancy .. my strong desire, longing and love for this baby is completely taking me by surprise.  She is truly a joy and a source of constant amazement as my belly keeps expanding and her life-affirming kicks grows stronger and stronger.  She is becoming quite active these days and I think very soon the big siblings and hubby will be able to feel her kicks on the outside of my belly.

My drive to nest and get ready for baby is kicking in as well.  There are so many things to get ready as we have nothing for a newborn....but really I know all she needs is diapers and lots of love!  I already know she will be so love and have everyone wrapped around her little finger in no time.

Baby shower picnic fun...

A couple of the women I attend nursing school with had arranged a picnic at the park baby shower celebration for myself and another student who is due with her baby here in June.  It was a great laid back event for getting out to have fun and sharing food and no emphasis of gifts which was great.

I got a couple of things: a sweet little dress, some adorable "sock-shoes," and some beautiful tulips .. but most of all I had a lovely time with friends and that is such a blessing. 

The weather was perfect and we spent a few hours just hanging out, singing/playing music and enjoying each others company.  I am truly blessed with a great group of people to have shared this nursing school experience with.

OB check up...

I had a great visit at my clinic last Wednesday.  Everything is going well.  Baby girls heart rate was bouncing away at about 154-156 beats per minute ... I just love the sound of her heart beat and can never get enough of listening to it.

The scale made a bit of a jump from three weeks ago and I am up another 3 pounds so my total weight gain at 21 weeks is about 10-11 lbs.  Not too bad but a good reminder to just keep being active.

We talked a bit about the delivery time frame as I will be having a schedule c-section.  The last doctor said about the 38 week mark, whereas the doc I saw this week said her recommendation is more like 36-37 week.  Yikes!!!  I finish school in the very end of August so at a minimum I really want to stretch that day to the 37 week mark but would prefer to go to 38 weeks.  This for sure will be revisited at at later appointment.

Still no measurement on my size of my belly.  I feel like I am starting to look "big" but I can still see my feet so I am probably not as big as I feel :-)

Dear baby girl...

I am sad today ... each year this day breaks my heart.  While it has gotten a little easier over time, I think May 13 will always sting my heart.  I will always wish that the turn of events had been different and I will always wonder how little N is doing and hope that he is well and happy. 

This year you are giving me so much comfort today.  I feel your little kicks and I treasure them more than you could ever know.  I had no idea idea that I would feel this intense joy and wish for you...that your sweet surprise would again stir that burning desire to have another child of my own nor that I would feel it so strongly that it nearly sets my heart ablaze.  You fill me with so much joy and yet I also feel so scared at the same time.  I can help but think of little J as I still miss him more than words can say.  I hope and I pray for you to stay put and to be safe in my belly for a good long time to come. 

Baby girl you are my world.  You are now sharing a very special place deep below my heart - a place shared by your three incredible, wonderful and amazing siblings and by three sweet sweet surro babes.  All of you own my heart...your little footprints linger with my every beat.

So for now baby girl please stay put and let me love you from the outside ... I promise you the world will wait for you so take all the time you need.

Love,
Mommy 

Happy Birthday little N...

I am thinking about you today and wishing you the best 3 year birthday ever. 

Three years ago right around this time you came into this world ~ it was one of the most difficult days of my life.  I close my eyes and I see you and your sweet brother ... miss you both.

I hope that you are doing well and growing big and strong.  You will always have a big place in my heart and I am sending you lots of hugs and kisses for your birthday.

Love always ... your surromama :-)

20 weeks...

I am 20 weeks along tomorrow ... time has flown by!   I am finally feeling more movement and I love when baby girl taps my insides.  It is just such a sweet reminder that we is growing bigger. 

Hitting the halfway point definitely is giving me some jitters.  There is so much stuff to get ready for having a newborn in the house again.  It is actually a bit overwhelming to think through all the little things we will need....so part of me is just putting that aside and hoping that love and a few onsies and cute blankets will do the trick ;-)

School is going well - this term is busy like all the others but in a different way.  Since I am doing my clinical rotation in the populations setting this term it is not as clinically intensive as the previous terms have been.  To make up for that I am trying to do lots of review so that I will be ready to take the NCLEX as soon as I can.  I am hoping that I might be able to squeeze it in before baby arrives but I will be a tight fit.

I am feeling pretty good aside from a really sore throat the last couple of days.  It hurts and it sucks!  I feel thirsty a lot just to get rid of that scratchy feeling.  Ricola and warm drinks are in high demand right now.