Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Dear baby girl...

I am sad today ... each year this day breaks my heart.  While it has gotten a little easier over time, I think May 13 will always sting my heart.  I will always wish that the turn of events had been different and I will always wonder how little N is doing and hope that he is well and happy. 

This year you are giving me so much comfort today.  I feel your little kicks and I treasure them more than you could ever know.  I had no idea idea that I would feel this intense joy and wish for you...that your sweet surprise would again stir that burning desire to have another child of my own nor that I would feel it so strongly that it nearly sets my heart ablaze.  You fill me with so much joy and yet I also feel so scared at the same time.  I can help but think of little J as I still miss him more than words can say.  I hope and I pray for you to stay put and to be safe in my belly for a good long time to come. 

Baby girl you are my world.  You are now sharing a very special place deep below my heart - a place shared by your three incredible, wonderful and amazing siblings and by three sweet sweet surro babes.  All of you own my heart...your little footprints linger with my every beat.

So for now baby girl please stay put and let me love you from the outside ... I promise you the world will wait for you so take all the time you need.



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