Sunday, July 3, 2011

Thoughts and an update...

On Friday morning after Little Js passing, I got a call from J...I could hear the heartbreak in his voice and it makes me so incredibly sad to know what they are going through. Loosing a child must be the hardest thing in the world to endure. Little J was not my child but he was still part of me and knowing that he is no longer with us is just so hard. I hate it! I hate the he was taken from us way way to soon.

While I could not attend the grave site memorial for their sweet little boy, I promised to go and visit with Little N while they were gone. Sitting with him and watching him was good for me and it gave me an opportunity to snap some photos and send to L&J while they were away. I got to changes his little diaper a couple of times and all I could think about was how much I wish that he will hurry up and grow so he can go home.

It is still so unreal that he is really gone - it is just so hard to understand. I know his little memory will live on in our hearts .. but we all really just wanted him with us to love and hold. I pray that he is looking down on us from above and that he is keeping a tight watch over his brother.

N is doing well and gaining ... he is just short of 4 lbs now which is incredible - he has almost doubled his birth weight. Way to go! He is also off his CPAP and I just can't wait to go visit again soon.


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