Saturday, May 28, 2011

A tad bit jealous...

For the most part, I do not consider myself a jealous person .... surely I can be jealous of people winning a nice big lottery prize or something else great ... but most of the time I am just really happy for people who are fortunate enough to have luck shine down on them. Lately however, the last two weeks to be specific, I have been VERY jealous...and yes it is something that I will overcome with time but for now I am so incredible jealous of anyone with a nice big round pregnant belly.

Jealous enough that it can bring tears to my eyes. A neighbor of mine, who just recently moved in and I have yet to meet, is pregnant. When I saw her this morning she just glowed. She looked wonderful and her belly was so nice and round! As I was coming around the corner, I truly wanted to go and say hello and wish her welcome to the neighborhood but I just couldn't ... lucky for me she seemed to be in a rush and heading off anyway so hopefully I did not come off as being rude.

I miss my belly - I miss it so much. I know it probably sound strange to many but I was just not done enjoying my pregnancy yet. I was still suppose to have plenty of time to rub my belly and love on those little babies growing in there - time to enjoy their little kicks and movements...

My weight is going down and my closet has been cleaned out of every bit of maternity clothing ... I had some cute stuff that I had not gotten to wear yet and some pieces that went back to Target as I just bought them two days before my emergency delivery.

Two full bags are now sitting on my bedroom floor taunting me while I decide what to do with them. Seeing them in my closet was just too hurtful of a reminder of the premature end to this pregnancy....dang this is just hard!


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