Sunday, March 4, 2012

Wishing for an update...

I long to hear an update on little N and it has been some time since I last received a text message from L.  I am sure that all is well with everyone, still it would be nice to get a little update on their sweet little boy.

I try not to dwell on the lack of communication from their side.  I have to remember that it is their life and their prerogative to maintain contact.  We can hope and dream about many things in life, but there are never any guarantees.  Being a surrogate, I put my heart on the line for someone else and do it because I care deeply.  While matching, future contact was a very important aspect on which I wanted to ensure compatibility...but still I have to be prepared for the chance that what is promised may never come to be.  I have to accept that I may never hear another word about, or from, that special little person once they leave my arms...while I hope with all of my heart that I will always continue to get little updates, the risk that I never will, is there.

It is the chance we take ... even if during the matching stage we agreed to maintain contact, things change.  Things get complicated and wishes change.  I know that the events of the last year have been hard on everyone, but I do hope that someday we will be able to share our story about N&J again ...  even if right now is not that time. 

One thing I know for sure, is that L&J love their little boy so much and they will be incredible parents to him.  I wish for many more future glimpses into his life ... wishes do come true and someday I hope mine will too.

Little N ~ you are in my daily prayers .. I hope you are growing bigger and more beautiful everyday.  I know that you have the most incredible little guardian angel in the world watching out for you.

L&J ~ you two are very dear to my heart .. I know that our journey did not end exactly how anyone anticipated.  Life is never easy but it is always a treasure.  I am grateful to know you both.


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